Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: law and order svu marathon
i've got a virus. i've been throwing up all day and all night last night. seth was sick a few days ago and his parents weren't home so i took care of him. and of course i get sick. but worse. i still feel terrible. i just hope i'll keep these saltines down. i haven't even been able to keep water down yet. i feel disgusting, i've just been lying here for so long. i feel depressed and desperate. tomorrow hopefully i'll feel better. i don't have anything to do though. i'll probably go pick up my paychecks, deposit them, maybe go to target or the mall to use my gift cards. seth gets out of work at 6 but i think he's sick of me so i don't know if we'll hang out. chances are though that i'll be fucking lazy and disgusting like always and just lie in bed and watch tv and sleep all day for no reason whatsoever. i really have no willpower. it disgusts me and the worst thing is that i lack the power to do anything about it. i mean, i know i can but it's so hard. there's seriously something wrong with me. maybe tomorrow i'll try and get out and run or something. maybe join back up at lifestyles, because it's way too cold to run all the time. but it's difficult to drive all the way out there, and i don't like wasting that much time. but then again, i'd just be wasting it even more at home. this is so bad. i'm so disgustingly embarrassed of what i've become.